Autumn, the time of physical change

You can't change what was but you can change what is to come.

It is the time of year where big changes and preparations are made for the upcoming winter season in nature. Animals prepare to hibernate, trees shed their leaves in anticipation of the frozen slumber, plants die or fall into their winter sleep patterns and humans start to bundle up and spend more time indoors. The heat has been turned on now, warm coats, mitts, hats and boots are all purchased and getting some use and I look at the calendar and this is where I realize I am quickly approaching my very busy time. Though my head is still stuck at the cottage under the warm sun and thinking about the glint of diamonds on the water I really must snap out of it. Summer is over and this is the time to start planning for the next two months. My calendar is filling up with clients eager to look their very best for their holiday parties and Christmas with their loved ones and I am still longing for the summer. Still longing for the country, the lake and away from the city.

One day I hope to fufill that dream of country living, maybe in the not too distant future we can become country folk with a farmhouse and lots of space for the boys to run, play and learn how to grow their own vegetables and fruit. I dream big! In the meantime I am here in the city I once adored, doing a job I love most days and spending time with my very large family. I am blessed. I do not take these blessing for granted, we have a nice home, we have a very close family and I have a very nice, large studio space so until that country house is purchased I am content to enjoy what we have in the city.

I made a decision last year that I would no longer place any hope in my mother any more. I have kept to it, although she does call when she wants her hair done, gives a cockamamee half attempt at a desire to see the boys but then never calls on the day she says she wants to see them or comes over. I am very aware that the only thing she really wants from me is free haircuts and colours and sadly I think the boys have begun to realize it too. She called a few days before Thanksgiving to find out about dinner but I said we would be out of town and she then said she still wanted to see us that weekend and would probably be by on Saturday. Saturday came and went and no word from her and I am really not surprised. Maybe I should care a bit more for the boys sake but this is a woman who has rarely been a mother to me and seems to have no desire to be a grandmother other than to hang photos in her cubicle and boast about how cute her grandchildren are. This Christmas I will not wait until 3 days before Christmas eve to hear from her, this year we will not be having a dinner with her. This year I will reserve for the people who are in my life on a daily basis, who love my children and show them all the time. Who my children see weekly or more and who I respect and love. This year is about the true meaning of family not just a free meal and out the door. This year will be extra special because it will be about love and not because someone wants to pay a quarterly visit out of duty.


In other news, things are going well for Jack and Aiden in school. Rowan REALLY wants to go to school as well and everyone here is potty trained now so NO MORE DIAPERS!!! I cannot tell you how nice it is to NOT have to change a poopie diaper....almost 5 years straight of poopies diaper and now NO MORE!!!! Jack took almost 2.5 years to toilet train simply because he is stubborn and once he sets his mind to something he never gives in. "Why go potty mommy when you are just going to change me anyway?", with the looming threat of not be ing able to go to school he thankfully trained by summer but it was an uphill battle! Rowan trained in 1 week and now he has it! 2.5 years old and he is done with diapers and onto the Spiderman undies. His reward for training will be the new Transformers movie because I am sick of watching the first one 5 times plus a day, I also ordered him a special Wiggles t-shirt from Ebay and he has requested a BumbleBee toy ( Transformers character). Jack got a Nintendo DS when he trained so it is only fair.

Things continue to be tense with Aiden's mom and us although better than it has been. She really has no clue that I was her biggest advocate and she messed it up so I no longer go to bat for her with my husband. The biggest mistake women make is to think that another woman is automatically their enemy. Moms are very important in a child's life even if the mom is not doing her part. A child needs to have their parents around and I think perhaps she may have finally realized this. Time will tell but I keep my fingers crossed for Aiden's sake. Too many people in and out of his life he requires more stability than that. He is a great kid with a whole lot of love to give and he deserves it all right back in spades.

On a final note I am trying to help my husband realize that being hasty is not always the best way to be. That the past is the past and you cannot change what was but you can certainly change what might be. Keeping an open mind to what the future throws at is is the best way to get everything you want and need out of life and just maybe something you didn't expect either.